Wednesday, June 12, 2013


This is going to be an awkward post that i will publish. The most awkward-est i think. Because in a way i have made this non personal blog into one.

I've been thinking and been pondering on the subject matter of 'death'. Actually i dont really gives a shit about it but i kept on thinking and thinking and somehow it found its way to me in my dream. 

1. Think too much.

The day after i dreamed of death, last sunday 9th june, i went to eat air batu campur ABC, with my friend. Before that, i told him i am dreaming of death, in his car.

Our main objective when we went out that day is just to get something to drink, outside of the house since the weather is killing the lot out of us recently. Before we went to get our drinks, my friend met his friend for some work-related business and i tell myself, why don't we get cendol instead of the same iced tea or iced syrup which i will order just like i always do on every regular lepak session.

After he met his friend, my friend said "what about ABC?", coz its been a long time since the last time we had one, maybe i haven't had one for a long time, i don't know my friend's story.

And so, we went to get our ABC. My friend asked for a regular ABC and i ordered an extra chocolate topping, i have to pay more for it, of course. ABC is so expensive nowadays. I used to enjoy the same ABC from the same stall  for only RM2 a few years ago and now its already RM 3.50, extra 50 cents since i want more chocolate toppings.

After a queue, we took our ABC and eat them. That is the intro of the dialogue between 2 broke friends who whine a bit about how expensive food is nowadays. Everything starts to double its price. We could once get a decent roti canai for only 50 cents and now its around RM1 - RM1.20 in the city. Time flies...

2. Reminiscing

Before eating the ABC, we promised to have a sumptuous Nasi Lemak because its been a while since we had our proper meal. Our daily meal? Rice, fried eggs and some hot dogs at home. once in a while we eat chicken due to the tight budget. I don't wanna whine on that now since we still had something to eat every now and then, doesn't matter how frequent it is. I am thankful for that.

Remember about the extra chocolate topping on my ABC? i went all energetic and stuff that night. It feels like i'm high on some drugs and shit. I blasted the speaker on max volume and sing along with serj tankian's SOAD and linkin park all night, with my friend. Lucky me he's a fan. So he could sing along with my pace and i kinda head banging for about 3 or 4 hours before i naturally fell asleep that night. idky but i hate sleeping at night. The peace and serenity is too comfortable to be ignored. 

Today, or yesterday, i've been thinking of how stingy i am. I'm thinking of the theory of how money come and go. Theory about Give and take. And all sorts of philosophical bullshit. So i called my friend to be at the rendezvous. I've been thinking on treating them their dinner. Few days ago i get my royalties for writing Kitab Terfaktab. Yeah, i'm one of them. That is one of the reason why i'm paying that night.

I ordered my usual nasi goreng cendawan. But i changed my drinks to fresh watermelon from the usual iced tea. i loved their iced tea, it tasted different from every other usual shop that sells iced tea. But yeah, that night was a different night.

We had a good laugh. I laughed hard, my hands are numb and it was a good dinner. Not the usual dinner with the same food like we always had. Nobody really knows i'm going to treat them that night, so i tell them i am going to pay for their dinner after they had their meal. Unluckily, 3 of them ordered nasi bujang. One of my friend scream to me because of not telling him i am paying for dinner. But thats the rule. If you tell them you are going to treat them, they are going to be the devil who eats like a bulldozer. That's another story.

I stopped for a while because my friend is peeking on what i'm doing on my laptop. I don't really know why but it seems like nobody likes it when anybody read what they are writing, when they are writing. Doesn't matter what they're writing, am i right?
I'm home, all comfortable because tomorrow, my schedule is free and i am entitled to do whatever it is i'm willing and intended to, within my available resources.

It is 3 am. And now, at the very moment, i'm trying to finish what i started. This piece of rambling i'm sure nobody would  really care. 

3. Generous

Its been a while since i personally say hello to my maker. I bet he's furious. Or maybe he didn't give a damn, at all. Remember the day i told my friend i dreamed of death? He told me, that, was a good sign. I raised my left eyebrow and he told me that i am going to live long. To repent. To him. In whatever way i could. But this won't help me from stop thinking of death.

I took my shower later that night with my mind busy thinking about death, again. This fucking head wont stop thinking i guess so i let it be and play along.

Tonight, everybody's kinda busy. With work and whatnot. I told everybody i'm going to be dead, soon, out loud. I can see them smirk without even looking at their face. I even told them i am going to write a will (wasiat). Seriously, wasiat sounds better since 'will' have too many other synonyms along with it. Wasiat only have one meaning and one meaning is better than a lot of jumbled up meaning. I asked my friend for a piece of a4 paper and starts to write WASIAT on the top of the paper. Laugh a bit and put them on the the nearest shelf. I took it out again and write some honest will that i'm going to write that i have carved in my head. There's 4 to 5 points in it.

 I am a bit crazy when i'm within my comfortable zone, with the friends i'm comfortable with. If they do read this piece of crap, they will absolutely cross the word 'bit' from this particular paragraph.

4. Wasiat

I've been Thinking too much. Some serious thinking i'd say. I Reminisce. I am being Generous suddenly, out of nowhere, maybe out of somewhere. And i write a Wasiat.

And i write all of this past events to this blog. Hell not even an angel knew when they're going to die. I mean, every living creature including all the mumbo jumbo ghosts and apparition that people can't see have their end of time right? So am i.

So, maybe if and only if i die sooner than later, this will be the remarkable reminder of how death clinging onto you for every second you're breathing the oxygen in and carbon dioxide out.

Voila. its finished.

Later, if i'm alive.


Monday, June 10, 2013

Masalah 101

Manusia perlukan masalah, as much as manusia perlukan makanan, tempat tinggal, pasangan, kereta dan lain lain.

Ini terbukti kerana tanpa masalah, manusia takkan maju, kehadapan. Manusia akan berhenti jadi maju ketika manusia rasa manusia sudah cukup maju. Manusia perlukan pergerakan progresif, dan juga reaktif, walaupun the latter is better off lost in translation. (just kidding)

Oleh itu, manusia perlulah menyenaraikan masalah-masalah yang dihadapi, tak kisah lah di mana masalah itu disenaraikan pun. 

Jika manusia menjumpai penyelesaian tanpa masalah, itu juga menunjukkan masalah, kerana penyelesaian amat berguna jika manusia bermasalah. Tanpa masalah, penyelesaian hanyalah cebis-cebis teori yang tidak pragmatik untuk kegunaan seharian, walaupun banyak penyelesaian masalah berkaitan jiwa yang disaluti ritma filosofikal itu bersifat mainan minda, jiwa dan perasaan.

Kesimpulannya, catatkanlah semua masalah yang mendatang, simpulkan keadaan, selesaikan. Jangan ditangisi masalah, kerana masalah takkan menjiruskan jujukan kasihan untuk manusia makan.

Catat, simplify, selesaikan. 
Nescaya masalah itu akan hilang, dengan izin tuhan, masa, dan juga usaha yang dilitupi dengan kesungguhan.

(pardon my direct translation from english to bahasa. i can't seem to find the right malay word for it. Though this might sound corny, it seems that i need to translate english to bahasa nowadays, though it should have been the other way round.)

See you later.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Golden Rule


Dalam pertunjukan dunia, ada macam macam ragam, macam macam karenah, macam macam gelagat.

ah. cerita yang aku lakar dalam kepala hotak aku kompleks sangatlah. 

practise what you preach.

aku rasa aku ada dyslexia lah. 

Kalau kau tak suka apa yang kau tak suka, kau jangan buat. Senang.
Ini tak, kau tak suka orang buat, tapi kau buat. Tu nama dia hipokrit. orang hipokrit layaknya ke neraka tahu? 

Monday, March 25, 2013

Godspeed Malaysia.

The fight amongst political parties in malaysia is mostly about race and religion.
The malays, chinese, indians, and other fraction of race and ethnics in malaysia is still the trump card for all the politicians involved. The federal constitution favours malays since they're the majority and its pretty obvious that those who didn't have 'melayu' on their identity card suffers some kind of oppression in a lot of ways.

I believe that all of them will stick together once the immigrants are flooding malaysia just like what happened to most european countries.

But looking at different side of views, this race and ethnics game will be be one of the most depressing issues that the government will have to tackle since favouritism have its on ways to reach to the top.

One of the way to see the structure of this race and ethnicity is the big companies' and our very own country's ministers.

Spare the Malaysian Malaysia bullshit since that connotation is only suitable in the theory of racial blending. Its like dreaming for an utopia.  Accept the fact that the minority will always usually be oppressed. its happening around the globe.

Nationalism might be the one holding us all together by casting off those racial and religion debacle that is happening within the current situation.

Godspeed Malaysia.


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Every content of this blog may be MY perspectives generally. BTW, i am not trying to pick a fight with any body, just havin some fun for the sake of Laughter.... PLUS, i need your Brain to read this blog. I dont need your brainless head to interpret my perspectives. more? words inside this blog is not suitable in formal occasion, so, take note. There are more fictions than facts in this blog, don't believe the author too much or u'll have headache for the rest of your life... Gyahahahahah~