Its been a while Since i last published my last post.
I actually got tons of drafts written when i was truly bored on the storage of my laptop. But i don't feel like publishing any of them because everytime i re read them shit, it feels strange. Seems like it was full of error 404 when the interweb is acting like a monkey. So, i passed.
The moment i wrote this shit, i wonder what is the main issue i wanna jerk it in. Ahah. The reason why i ain't blog a shit. Its most prolly because i have no issues and trying to cope with the peace of mind, that rarely lasts long.
The fact that i'm living a life full of happiness i've create within myself is so fucking disturbing. It contradicts the fact that none of them is 100% true till this split second. Maybe i failed to embrace all the moment of laughter and joy. Or maybe because apart of the happiness is not fully complete in which they're falling apart.
See, the reason to live a life full of happiness is only a dreamland built in your mind, or on the big ass advertisement where people laugh and smile all the time when the truth is everybody is crying inside out and they cover up that sadness with a fake smile and laughter.
I just can't do that. I rarely smile, contradicting with the posts i've posted. Most probably because i hate to fake a smile. Coz when i smile, i smile fer real.
A couple of days ago, a stranger told me i am far from being categorized into a friendly people. Until they saw me smiling. It feels weird.
Gazillions of words are crafted into my mind yet too little flows to my fingers.
Yes, i've been posting too little too much about myself lately. Its not because i'm running out of ink from my head, but the damage is done. Target locked, mission accomplished. The rest? Its up to everybody to interpret the data. For what cause? Suit yourself. Can't be bothered to tell everyone what to do, with all the questions in the world. It is all up to you since i can and might only be the reason why you choose that something something. The real deal is always up to you. I refuse to choose and decide for you because i hate being a dictator. Wait, Who loves a dictator?
I guess there's an unresolved issues left unanswered within me. Thats why i started to write, again. Maybe someone, or something might help me sort that shit out. Maybe i'll sort it out within a few days.
Ah, maybe is another form of uncertainty. Too many grey areas have to be covered. The future's a mystery. Full of riddles and what not.
I Hope serendipity is after me. I guess all those mystery box left unopened might contained another vicious barrier to embrace. Well, lets see what would happen next. Its all written somewhere somehow. I just have to be prepared to face it all. Lets prepare for it while the clock is still ticking in and out.