Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Idealistically Insane

The best idea always come when u're taking a shit, showering or when u're in the place where u wash yourself up. The place where u've no proper gadget to sketch your ideas deliberately. This shit is inevitable. Maybe i should install a laptop in the toilet where they can stand the wet condition.

I'm having this sensation of writing novels. I actually had them in one of the file in the microsoft word. But as usual, deadlocked. My ideas was too complicated to be put into writing and this is not helping, at all.

I had this idea of writing about the perfect life, and yes, it comes when i'm taking my glorious shit down into the manhole.

Now, i'm thinking of leaving this poorly constructed ramblings in the saved section. There's tons of writing unpublished due to this  feelings.

Maybe i'm just too lazy to finish every writings up because i found them stupid, even for myself to read OR i don't feel like finishing it because the mood to write on that particular topic has long gone.

I need to get rid of this uncertainty at once, it is unhealthy, For me and my future. For sure, i need a deadline. Dammit. There's no more discipline in me. Maybe its time for me to deliberately understand and learn the japs culture so that i can be inspired to be more disciplined. Maybe i will have to commit harakiri if i ain't meet my deadline. But i'm not a samurai. I'm dedicated to myself, and the entity i can't see, but i'm not investing it to anybody else but me. This attitude is some kind of abomination too. Fuck.

I need, yes, need to steal all the time i can afford to steal so that i can finish all the things i've started. I can't allow procrastination to be my permanent companion, i'm getting older every single second that passes me by.

Too many maybe and need in the sentences above. Maybe, see, another maybe comes up. Maybe i need to change the need to want after this. I've got all the things i need, so i have to pursue all the things i wanted.

Lets start with optimistically 3000 of words daily?
Yeah right, start working on it, stop hoping that all these 26 magical alphabets to be finished constructively by themselves.



kurosagi said...

whatever are you doing~ start setting a target which is achievable(but hard to achieve in the same time), set a precise deadline & promise yourself a reward if you can complete that work on time~ i by myself writing novel since 2002 until 2005, but when i grow up later(2006-2009), heh~ that all just some pieces of shit i wasted time~ but, in 2011 when i reread all of them, i just start to realize....that all piece of shit is actually my vision, my own future & describe a lot of thing about my life too, i may not drive a 7-series as its described & not going to have a race with my brothers at PLUS highway, but the real race is going on~ race of proving each other who is the best~ who is the most contra to our father~ each person with each way of life(as each of us with our racing car)~ as you guys can see, the name "Pacific Monetary Authority" & i write my name as "Founder, President & CEO" of that bank is purely idealistic,(if you google this name, well, its turn out to be nothing) bring out to paper for the first time in 2005~

ok, in short~ whatever your thinking about writing a "perfect life"~ just spent all those free time to accomplish it~ maybe you are not in mood of writing, but you may draw/sketch something about it too~
my perspective is : all this must be our subconscious mind doing, you may find it is truly idealistic, but another 7-8 years later, you may find you just on the track to accomplish it~

Hellioz said...

u're right.
gotta do something about it.

thanks for d advice dude.


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